BE ALL THAT YOU CAN BE

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by Rafaela Alba

We have grown up in a society that has taught us to escape from our emotions, which don’t help us to face reality. When you were a child did you hear the word? “Stop crying, because you will look/become ugly”, “Boys/men don’t cry”, “God doesn’t love you if you are sad or angry” and the list keeps growing. Day by day you were accumulating that mental state in your unconscious, without expressing them under any circumstances. Then, you became an adult and believed you cannot express your unwanted sentiments, and then you identify yourself with your emotions. “It can be noticed the way you express yourself when you say “I am sad” instead of saying “I feel sad”, “I am angry” instead of saying “I feel angry” Hale Dwoskin. Then, you identify with your unwanted emotions because this is what you have being saying, believing and feeling; which in turn, has made you become them. As unwanted emotions keep coming into your life you identify with them and become attached to them. You even think they belong to you and you are part of them, therefore you carry them everywhere you go.

You believe you are living the right way until something unexpected rises in your life. It could be a terminal illness, lose your economic stability, lose your relationship, the death of a loved one, etc. Something is telling you “Wake up” then you hesitate for a while, because you don’t want to deal with your emotions and life’s changes. Whatever the emotion is, it is exploring inside your whole being, affecting your body, mind and spirit. Some people prefer to be in denial and don’t face it because it is too painful to accept the reality, confront them and work with those feelings. Some accept the challenges because they know that it is probably the only chance they have to exist, release and free their pains.

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One of the most common practice people use to escape their emotions is through denial, it can be reflected by: becoming a workaholic, using drugs, unlimited sex, overeating, over exercising, shopping/shopaholic, etc. If you ignore or repress your feeling they will get worse, and will lead you to illness. Because depression, denial, fear, anger and resentment can eliminate your inner peace, don’t let these emotions materialize and grow inside you. Letting go is a word you constantly hear in movies, but you never apply it into your real life. From now on try to identify any struggle or conflict; look for the feelings of uneasiness. Let go of all your unsought/unwanted feelings such as: Anger, betrayal, fear, rage, jealousy, resentment, etc. There are not good or bad emotions, you just need to let out the ones that make you feel pain. There can be moments where what you consider a bad emotion can lead you to positive growth.

The most important step is to recognize your moods. “Every emotion that takes place in the present has to be accepted in the present, the Now” Eckhart Tolle. Be present in the Now by being aware of your feelings and welcome them as they are. By embracing your emotions you can experience physical, mental, and spiritual benefits. “Recognition of what is, and remaining rooted with your feelings will lead you to healing” Eckhart Tolle. Always ask yourself “How do I feel?”. Pay attention to your current emotions and feelings, welcome them the best way you can. Faith is the best catalysis to face your emotions and bring out the best in you. A great exercise I recommend is to make a list of all your emotions, keep a journal and write about your moods (if during this process some solutions arise, write them down and then it will be easier to deal with your moods) and how they make you feel. Another great method of healing to release unwanted emotions and feelings is to talk about them. It’s possible that at the beginning of the process you feel uncomfortable to express them, consequently make sure to talk to someone you know is not going to judge you. Non-judgment and confidence will permit you to bring out all your undesirable emotions such as: worries, crying, screaming, doubts, guilt, shame, frustration, rage, despair, etc. is an exercise I learned from Hale Dwoskin:

Exercise: Let It Go, by Hale Dwoskin

This exercise can be performed with a pen or any similar object that you can grab. This object represents your unwanted emotions such as: Anger, pride, anxiety, grieve, besetment, empathy, fear, etc.

  1. 1. Think about a feeling or problem you want to let go.
  1. 2. Grab the object.
  1. 3. Your hands represent God or awareness

Notice that if you tie the object enough it starts to get really uncomfortable. The unease you feel in your hand is precisely the same you do all the time with your emotions. You hold them tight until it doesn’t let you get and feel what you really want to feel.

  1. 4. Roll the object on your hand. Is this object attached to your hand?

Think about your relationship with your painful feelings. Are you one of those people who remain with unwanted emotions because it is the only way you can identify with yourself?

  1. 5. Close your hand lightly, turn it upside down and just let it go.

This is how simple and easy it can be. The same way you let go of the object from your hand can also be done with your emotions. Just let go of the pain and issues you have been carrying with you, all the emotions you have identified with. Non emotion, feeling, problem, and issues are attached to you; you can be free as fast as you want.

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Dealing with the emotions permits you internal and external healing. Don’t wait for tomorrow to release unwanted feelings, because more resentment could be added into your unconsciousness. By accepting your emotions you are empowering yourself, and consequently, you can respond to your emotions in healthy ways and become the person you intend to be. When you learn to express your emotions and feelings, it helps you feel better, experiencing physical, mental, and spiritual benefits. Be aware that you were naturally born with the ability to let go and heal yourself. You just need to recognize and be aware that you possess all the potentials to free yourself from any unwanted emotions; you are the only one in control of your state of mind.

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