LOVE ORIGINATES WITHIN ME

N  CRica L 2007 109by Rafaela Alba

Last year I decided to bring changes to my life. I made this decision because I was not completely happy with some of the things that I was facing in my life. My mother had experienced a heart attack; my relationship with my partner dissolved because he was emotionally and spiritually unavailable; I got laid off from my job; and my uncle had passed away (someone who I had considered to be more than my father). I suffered from an emotional death. I felt there were no accomplishments in my existence. My life was almost in a catastrophe. I felt as if I were spinning out of control. My feelings were moving from one place to the other. I was sinking in the mud, asphyxiating, and could almost feel my last breaths.

When these events occurred I felt betrayed by everyone: the people in my job, my boyfriend, and even God. God had betrayed me. I had been raised in Catholic religion and I had experienced the daily song of if I behave, and if I am obedient, I will experience happiness on earth and I will go to heaven. That mythology became part of my belief system. I thought I was entitled to a wonderful life, because I always tried to be good and work hard to have those privileges. Is this the way God was paying me back? Being in this betrayed situation and feeling like the victim was not easy. I was desperate, with all sorts of feelings fighting inside of me: feelings of anger, fear, hopelessness, anxiety, obsession, and depression. Because of all of this my cells were out of control and I experienced constant nightmares during the night and I awoke crying in the middle of the night, desperate, feeling angry at myself and criticizing myself for all of the misfortunes in my life. I was experiencing a crisis of faith; and I stopped praying and going to church on Sundays. I was devastated and felt a victim of the religion that my parents had inculcated in me; I also felt like a victim of God. All of my lost, abandon, disappointments and failures had devastated my ego and the core of my being. These experiences had hurt me, leaving me feeling helpless. I felt humiliated.

Out of all this chaos, miracles happened. I started my healing process by throwing out all kinds of emotional baggage that I had been carrying for a long time. I focused on the main things I need to change and began with Louise Hay’s philosophy, In changing the way you think, you can improve your quality of life, book You Can Heal Your Life. I started changing my thought patterns. I read over 100 books, listened to 70’s DVDs, and audios, and I participated in workshops, meditations, visualization, websites, and affirmations. I started volunteering for different organizations, support groups, therapy, etc. which led me to experience self-growth and healing. Subsequent to this, my life experienced the birth of change. Throughout Louise Hay’s teachings, I learned to love myself and to discover the potential that I possess. At the beginning, I was feeling a lot of resistance during the process; because I had to open my mind to change my old beliefs and adopt new patterns in my life. (I have to start eliminating my old thinking patters for new thoughts). I desired to start doing things I always wanted to do, but have not taken the time to fulfill these desires such as: to spend more time with myself, learn how to swim, take the road test for my driving license, do yoga, do more public speaking by offering workshops in different organizations in the community and to family members, ride my bike 30-50 miles without fear, and travel solo, etc. I made life changes and healing as an intensive task that awakened me to a new horizon.

When we fall in love we feel so happy and invigorated. When we start loving ourselves, our lives change. We develop the knowledge to take care of the child inside of us. By giving love to that child, and by embracing her/him, anxiety, stress, low self-esteem, fears, etc. will disappear. A wonderful and exciting way to do it is by accepting us the way that we are. Accepting that the past is over, and that those events transpired to make us stronger, to expand our lives. We must stop doing things that make us feel unhappy, such as criticizing and punishing ourselves. We must permit more experiences and things to come to us, to start allowing. That is how we make miracles happen!

15 reasons to be in love with yourself

  1. Love is the most powerful energy in the universe. Love can deal with anything. Love resolves and heals everything, especially when it comes from within.
  2. You will never be alone because you are always with your self. When you love yourself, there will always be love in your life. You will never feel abandoned or think you are left alone on this world. As Louise Hay says, “No one can take your own love away, because it belongs to you.”
  3. You are in control of your own life. You will feel more secure in making decisions and listen to your instincts.
  4. When you are focused on loving yourself you attract more positive energy around you. Everything flows. Miracles will happen regularly.
  5. You start breathing peace through your pores, which makes you look radiant and younger.
  6. Start breathing peace through your pores; you will look radiant and younger.
  7. Peace within you is unconditional and life becomes easy to enjoy and manipulate.
  8. You will begin to see the world in bright colors and have complete faith that it is your ally.
  9. Start considering that what other thinks about you is not your business because there are more important things for you to focus your energy on.
  10. Your self-esteem grows and you start appreciating your present moment with every single life experience.
  11. The more you love yourself the more fearless you shall feel and the easier your dreads will disappear. Develop more courage to fulfill your dreams and life’s adventures.
  12. Spending time with yourself becomes hilarious, and everything is meaningful / significant
  13. Notice that you are special; a great contributor for this world and your life has a meaningful purpose.
  14. You feel your soul re-birth into a new body, because of sense stream of energies flowing within you.
  15. You feel your soul re-birth into a new body, because of sense stream of energies flowing within you.

Last year I was blessed by learning how to love myself! I started seeing the world with different colors, paying more attention to nature, appreciating it, and giving gratitude for every single thing in my life. I learned that the world will not change until I did something for myself and see everything that comes my way is an opportunity, a blessing. All we have in our planet is perfect, a godsend. Accept and understand others without judging. Obtain more courage to be better than you used to be. Love for myself makes me feel that everything is possible.

I learned to surrender and after I learned to do this, I am not concerned about finances or my future. I know the Divine will always protect me; there are no worries of scarcity. Prosperity is available for all.

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  2. Mer says:

    I am coming to your workshop on the 11th. Wish you the best in your new endeavor.

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      Thank you. It is a pleasure. I know you will learn a lesson you will remember for the rest of your life and find the answers you are looking for. Have a great day

  3. Fausto R says:

    thanks, for all your incredibles post, eventhougth i do not know you in person i feel like i do, we are fro m the smae town, and i probably know your whole family, so kee going girl, and share with us your great wisndom !!

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